baby daddy blues

woke up this morning

finally heard the anthem to my blues

baby daddy blues

 

baby daddy didn’t have a father

folks split up when he was young

papa said he had a new family

that relationship was worth his time

mama probably had the blues herself

left mexico behind and found a new man

the womyn/child beater kind

 

woke up this morning

finally heard the anthem to my blues

baby daddy blues

 

baby daddy hated school

hated men that didn’t care for baby mama’s

used his rage and trained

EZLN/AIM militant security

talkin’ bout taking back our lands

tearing down borders

bullets to the system

learning our native tongue

living revolutionary lives

 

woke up this morning

finally heard the anthem to my blues

baby daddy blues

 

baby daddy spread his seed

a new generation of decolonized bodies

warrior names

freedom running through their veins

placental offerings

hair that flows like rivers

ceremonial rites of passage

tobacco ties, family ties

after life ties

 

woke up this morning

finally heard the anthem to my blues

baby daddy blues

 

baby daddy baby daddy why are you so blue?

when did you quit fighting

traded in your red for who?

prayers left abandoned

politics that contradict your worth

9-5 for uncle sam

attorneys to protect your wealth

body suits that assert your cis manhood

and baby bois back home

torn and confused

 

woke up this morning

finally heard the anthem to my blues

baby daddy blues

 

baby daddy is getting married

a new family of his own

got no time for lovin baby mamas

not sleeping in his bed

proud to be a new Americano

with holidaze and honeymoons

english only attitude

talking bout how schooling paves the way

 

baby bois back home

torn and confused

baby bois back home

torn and confused

 

woke up this morning

finally heard the anthem to my blues

baby daddy blues

baby daddy blues

 

“Why are you so angry?”

How about —

why do you try to hold my anger above me, as if it strips me of any credibility? why do you have to dangle my unhappiness in front of me?

I’ve become the most ultimately unamerican I can be — I’m an unhappy brown girl caught in a white man’s world.

I’m pretty sure if you grew up being stared at or called a sandn***er you wouldn’t be too thrilled either. If you had to wonder whether or not your masjid was going to be shot up or if your mother was going to get cussed out at the grocery store you wouldn’t be so carefree.

My anger isn’t a sign that I’m weak and that my opponents control me. My anger reminds me I’m alive and I’m still here.

 

Attn: Voices Needed

Voices Needed

Because that one time at the bar you felt it was okay to go up my skirt with your hand

Because my drink made me sloppy drunk with a few sips

AND you took advantage

Voices Needed

Because community peeps for ‘social justice’ feel that it’s okay to support a rapist instead of their semillas

Because that movie tells ‘our’ story ‘so beautifully’

AND semillas need sunlight to grow… NOT… shade…

Voices Needed

Because young girls can get raped because they ‘drank too much’, ‘wore that dress’ and ‘were looking for action’

Because those beautiful wombyn find ways to stop their breath

AND they need to keep on…going….

Voices Needed

Because sexism, misogyny, and patriarchy are ‘not a big deal’ and make us ‘lose focus’

Because movements need to keep moving and ‘your shit is a roadblock’;  ‘you’re a manhater’

AND we raise and love men

Voices Needed

Because our stories continue to be questioned

Because we are told, ‘Police report please’ and ‘be consistent with your story’

AND our traumas, our fears are carried so deep inside us nothing… comes… out

Voices Needed

Because I can go on and on with these stories

Because you think you know who wrote this yet it is not who you think because these stories. feelings. are common…

AND they need to be STOPPED. SUPPORTED.

KEEP USING YOUR VOICES.

WE HEAR YOU!

 

Rest In Peace

Rest in peace.

Past midnight when the sun is no where in sight
There lies the struggle to maintain the fight
Don’t give in don’t stop the try
Tears turn dry I can’t cry I won’t cry
Trying constantly to paint rainbows in the sky
Ghetto streets turn dry as blood spills in endless crime
I can try to paint the rainbows but the ghetto vibes will turn it dry & they will just cry

 

Dress

She used to wear a dress

                And her dolls watched as she danced

                                And the sun smiled upon her, and her light was bright

People would come and go

                And tell her she was pretty

But HE stayed

                Told her she was pretty too

                                Wanted to show her just how much

HE liked the way her dress was easy

                HE could go in and out

                                Unseen

                                                Not even her dolls watched

But she could feel it ALL

                She could feel her light go out

                                Every time she wore a dress

 

Then HE turned into SHE

 

SHE saw her

                Small and scared

                                And told her she could help

SHE held her in the dark

                Told her not to tell

But she could still feel it ALL

                She lost her light there in the dark

                                And began to disappear

Then days turned into months, and months turned into years

 

She didn’t own a dress

                And never slept in the dark

She learned to live without having to feel anything

                Until

She met the one who turned her light back on

                The one who told her it was ok to be pretty

                                The one who held her hand when things turned black

And with this love, her light began to shine again

                But

She was still afraid of the dark and never wore a dress

             But

She was still afraid of the dark and never wore a dress

 

Borders borders

When I went through the border I heard a man

speak his name, speak for his freedom and the freedom of those around him

and I saw a soldier standing behind him

who was there to kill, disappeared, repress, impoverish, murder, steal, lie, thieve, die

sometimes too, everyday inside he died, that soldier, I saw it in his eyes

soldier funded to stand there, given money, by a government that I “have” somehow to call “my own”. 

… I Pledge Allegiance…

But I can’t I can’t I cant I cant I cant I cant I cant I cant

 

When I saw that man and heard his sweet voice and saw the look of recognition between the people, their hearts and their lives,

then I felt my spirit renew, I felt my heart come alive,

I felt the pains of the people, I saw the pains of the ages, and I saw all of Life speak together

and their song was beautiful,

and the deeper it went their lives intertwined with that of the suns’ life, the plants, the bats, jaguars, agua y oro tambien

 

…..

Borders borders

 

When I came through the border aiport security of the land called “US”, I felt screaming silently and erased

though not erased

 

That

I am not the murderer. 

Not the one who goes to other countries with paid boots and guns to [insert propaganda]

No not me

And I am not the one who thieves, who goes and pays for bullets to go into the bodies of children in lands maybe I’ve never seen.

Not me.  No not me.

I’ve seen the bodies of children afraid of bullets marked USA-made

I’ve seen those kids and I loved them, I laughed with them, I told them all I could,

I don’t believe they should be murdered, I don’t believe in the destruction of their bodies or Hearts or Minds

I believe they should live the depths of their lives, I believe they should live the magic of their childhood, and the magic potential of their lives.

 

And I am not the one thinking that raping lands and lives for money is worth the profit$, and fuck the deaths and fuck the depths of the losses.

Not me. Not me.  I feel that loss, I see it, I watch it as the earth has started to bleed onto our feet

While the rich line their pockets with forgotten denials that

they don’t have the right to thieve/profit of/f our communities, to thieve/invest themselves in the stealing of our lives, our dreams, our visions sometimes even too.  They don’t have the right to thieve/profit of/f the loss of another, off water, off the earth…

 

And I want to scream into the well that I see you liars

you thieves

you stupid capitalist imperialist bastards who forgot where home is

you jerks who took my water bottles and threw it in the trash, who made me take off my shoes, put my shit on a belt, open my bags for you, put my hands up inside a machine,  made me watch every foreigner get doubled fingerprinted and photographed, and told me You were “keeping the skies safe,”

I want to say to you that the border has long been reached. 

The Emperor with

No Clothes

has been spotted,

has been spotted,

spotted,

spotted,

and I’m screaming that I see you, and I don’t Pledge Allegiance

 

I don’t lie for you, my “US” government, I don’t excuse your behavior, I don’t cover for your forced and constant “mistakes,”

I won’t put my hand over my heart for the rulers/thieves/liars/murderers/sick capitalist imperialist bastards

I would rather give my allegiance to those of this life who are striving for Life

Because my heart still feels So Much Love

And Because I still do believe in the visions

 

I am not the one who behaves like my Rights obligates me above all others,

and my Right to profit, and my Right to lie in your face and make you behave like you’re the criminal.

That’s not me.  That’s not that man I saw standing in front of a soldier calling for the right of the people to live in peace.  That’s not her I saw striving with eyes so wide open, with heart open striving bent on the strength of her vision.

I don’t Pledge Allegiance.

I want Liberation.
I want Liberation.

 

The other week in Tucson I gave $5 to a man who looked like he could use it,

and he cried and hugged me and spoke of Robin Hood,

and we spoke about the idea of Robin Hood, (hey we need more Robin Hoods)

and when I told him I wished him the best

He gave me a depth of a look

and he told me, “Everyone says that to me.  I’ve just stopped listening.”

And my heart felt a fracture, felt to be precariously shackled to a depth opening beneath my feet.

And I felt like something slipped between us two and said “That’s just the way it is.  Somethings can never change.  That’s just the way it is.”  Came to haunt us two, and beg for our votes, and told us not to trust each other, and told us we could never be free of this Hell called U.S.

instead

instead of us two, three, all of us, us us us, we one.

 

I want this stupid Fucking “US” government to stop thinking it has the right to make the most money

Because I hate the costs of the deaths

And Because I love the

Depth of the Lives

 

Men Threaten

Men like to threaten, to loom over us
to show they’re bigger
stronger
I’ll beat you to a pulp, little girl.
They use their loud voices
push tobacco-scented
onion-flavored
beer-laden
breath in your face and
I’ll show you who’s boss. Who da fuck you think you are, bitch?
worst thing you can call a man
“a girl”
“womanly”
“feminine”
“C’mon, ladies” — sneering football coach/drill sergeant — the biggest insult

 

Men say threatening things on your blog
and send revolting pictures
horrible pictures
of other women
beaten cut bloody headless bruised and battered
This could be you, watch out, stay in line
don’t speak your mind
STFU
stop speakin
truth-telling
challenging the WAY IT IS.

 

yeah, yeah, I know women threaten people too
women hit each other, are cruel and sharp and fuck you up.
But but but
we all know the but
women-hating is what societies are built on
it pumps men up, makes them men
to put women in their place.
threaten us with extinction
Who the fuck do you think you are, bitch

 

And yeah, yeah, I know it’s not all men,
there are good men.

 

But if you are breathing on this planet
if you are hearing my enraged words
you know a man like this
he’s in your family (he’s in mine)
he’s at your work (he’s at mine)
he’s watching you across the library (he’s watching me)
he’s bullying you on Facebook (he’s bullying me)

 

change it. stop accepting it
To the good men:
say no to woman-hating woman-silencing  speech
no laughing at wife-beating jokes
“rapeable” is not a compliment
step in when other men act badly
stand next to us, the women
and say not in my name.

 

men can change
But they sure do like to threaten us