Dress

She used to wear a dress

                And her dolls watched as she danced

                                And the sun smiled upon her, and her light was bright

People would come and go

                And tell her she was pretty

But HE stayed

                Told her she was pretty too

                                Wanted to show her just how much

HE liked the way her dress was easy

                HE could go in and out

                                Unseen

                                                Not even her dolls watched

But she could feel it ALL

                She could feel her light go out

                                Every time she wore a dress

 

Then HE turned into SHE

 

SHE saw her

                Small and scared

                                And told her she could help

SHE held her in the dark

                Told her not to tell

But she could still feel it ALL

                She lost her light there in the dark

                                And began to disappear

Then days turned into months, and months turned into years

 

She didn’t own a dress

                And never slept in the dark

She learned to live without having to feel anything

                Until

She met the one who turned her light back on

                The one who told her it was ok to be pretty

                                The one who held her hand when things turned black

And with this love, her light began to shine again

                But

She was still afraid of the dark and never wore a dress

             But

She was still afraid of the dark and never wore a dress

Grandfather

To My Dead Grandfather,

 

I used to wish I could have met you

Dreamed of you reading me bedtime stories and of my potential love for you

After I found out the truth all I have dreamed about is my regret your

Death wasn’t torturous enough to suit your crimes

Physical damage will not satisfy my need 

Piss on your soul; mutilate the fibers of the cross-stitch that

Holds your two-face together

 

I dreamed I could have been there and watched you

Die.

And I wanted to be the one to do it.

To have killed you.

Slowly, carefully, methodically with a distinct purpose in causing you as much harm as possible

I would carve out your half-heart while it’s still beating 

I would endure your screams just for the pleasure of watching you cry

I would tune them out because your tears make me smile

They are payment in the form of droplets of water pouring from you eyes

 

God made hell with scum like you in mind

The Devil was too merciful; letting you die

Alone on the side of the highway

Letting your body decompose until the stench forced someone call someone to dispose of your rotting corpse

Your unclaimed body still sitting in the morgue

Terrorized at night, your daughters had nowhere to run or hide

Tears tattooed beneath their eyes, trailing down their cheeks ending in a haunted stream behind them